What is grief?

Grief is a normal reaction to loss. Everyone will experience it at some point in time. Grief is more than sadness. It can affect your actions, emotions, thoughts, body, and spirituality.¹ Grief can occur after all kinds of losses, such as the end of your marriage or a close friendship, or the loss of your home or job. This handout focuses on grief following a death. Much of this information will apply to other types of losses also.

How can learning about grief be helpful?

Learning about grief can help you in the following ways:

• Understand some of your (or another person’s) reactions to a death.
• Be reassured that you can adjust to a loss, even if that might not seem possible now.
• Learn when to seek help. Most people cope well, but you can become “stuck” in your grief. Over time, this grief can affect your health. Studies have linked grief to depression, anxiety, weakened immune system (making it harder to fight off illness or disease), worse physical health, more trips to the doctor, increased use of alcohol and cigarettes, suicide, and conditions such as heart disease.^2-6

How do I recognize grief? What are some common grief reactions?

Common grief reactions are listed below.¹ All are normal unless they continue for a very long time or are especially intense. A person might have one grief reaction, several, or many. They might be very strong for a while and then lessen, or they might not be as strong but last for a long time. Which of the following reactions are you having, if any?

Actions

• Trouble falling asleep or waking up too early
• Eating too much or too little
• Being absent-minded
• Withdrawing from others; feeling less interested in the world
• Dreaming of the deceased
• Avoiding reminders of the deceased
• Searching and calling out the name of the deceased person
• Sighing
• Being restlessly overactive
• Crying
• Visiting places or carrying objects that remind you of the deceased person