Values are important to us; they are guide us as we decide what matters most in our lives. They are unique to each individual, and they can change over time. Values are like a roadmap or a compass, guiding us, giving us direction, and helping us prioritize how we spend our time. They guide our daily decisions, and every decision is an opportunity to live, moment by moment, according to our values. They are our deepest longings.

Values are different from goals, desires, needs, ethics, morals, feelings, rules, beliefs, and codes of conduct. Kelly Wilson, one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which emphasizes the importance of values, states the following:¹

• Values are here and now.
• Values never need to be justified.
• Values often need to be prioritized.
• Values are best held lightly.
• Values are freely chosen.

Values: Exploration and Clarification

To help yourself or someone else develop a better sense of their values, try the following six exercises.

1. The Sweet Spot Exercise (adapted from Wilson, 2008¹)

Bring to mind a memory where you experienced some of the sweetness and richness of life. Re-experience this memory using all of your senses. Make it vivid. Make room for all the sensations, thoughts, and emotions that arise. Describe it as if it is happening in the present moment: “This is what I notice. This is what I see and hear.” Then ask yourself the following questions:

What does this memory reveal about what matters to you?

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What personal qualities were you showing?

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