I ask for digital consent
This document explains how consent applies to digital communication, including texting, social media sharing, and sexting, and emphasizes the importance of clear communication, respecting boundaries, and protecting privacy.
Consent should be a part of your interactions with others when you’re texting or using social media. Although you aren’t talking face-to-face, you should always consider how your actions might make another person feel and ask questions if you don’t know.
Texting
- Just because technology connects us 24/7 doesn’t mean that your partner is always available.
- Some people enjoy rapid-fire text conversations, while others only like to text to make plans.
- Check in with your partner about how often you would like to text each other and what you consider a reasonable amount of time to respond. For example, “How do you feel about texting at work? I’m cool with it, but I also have a lot of down time.”
Sharing online
- Ask your partner how they feel about you sharing and tagging photos of them and posting about your relationship online.
- Find out if they’d like to see what you’re posting first, or maybe they’re okay with you sharing without asking every time. For example, “I love this picture from our last date. Is it OK if I post it to Instagram?”
Sexting
- Sexting means sending sexual photos, videos, or messages from your phone or computer.
- Not everyone feels comfortable sexting, and that’s okay — there are good reasons to have concerns about sharing a private image.
- It’s never okay to send unwanted sexts — even to a long-term partner.
- If your partner is okay with sexting, ask them before you send anything. For example, “I’d love to show you exactly how I’m feeling — can I send you a pic?”
Picture pressure
- Just like any other kind of sex, digital sexual interactions should feel exciting, comfortable, and safe for everyone involved.
- If someone says “no” to sending a nude photo, respect their choice and move on.
- Never pressure, coerce, or guilt someone to send photos — especially nude photos. For example, “That’s cool — I can’t wait for our date on Saturday!”
Consent violation
- If someone shares a nude photo with you, don’t share it with anyone.
- Sharing intimate photos with someone they weren’t meant for is a violation of trust and could be illegal.
- It can also be a crime to store or share sexual photos of someone under 18, even if you are also under 18.