Power and Control Wheel for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans Relationships

Power and Control Wheel (printable PDF version)

Visual description: A pie graph split into 8 pieces.

Around the outer ring of the 8 pieces are the headings: Heterosexism, Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia.

Around an inner ring are examples of violence:  Physical violence, Sexual violence, choking, pulling hair, slapping, grabbing, punching, kicking, biting, twisting arms, tripping, pushing, shoving, hitting.

In the center of the graph is the title Power and Control

Section 1: Using intimidation

• making you afraid by using looks, gestures, actions
• smashing things
• abusing pets
• displaying weapons
• using looks, actions, gestures to reinforce homophobic, biphobic or transphobic control

Section 2: Using emotional abuse

• putting you down
• making you feel bad about yourself
• calling you names
• playing mind games
• making you feel guilty
• humiliating you
• questioning if you are a "real" lesbian, "real" man, "real" woman, "real" femme, "real" butch, etc.
• reinforcing internalized homophobia, biphobia or trasphobia

Section 3: Using isolation

• controlling what you do, who you see or talk to
• limiting your outside activities
• using jealousy to control you
• making you account for your whereabouts
• sayin gno one will believe you, especially not if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans
• not letting you go anywhere alone

Section 4: Denying, minimizing and blaming

• making light of the abuse
• saying it didn't happen
• shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
• saying it is your fault, you deserved it
• accusing you of "mutual abuse"
• saying women can abuse women/men can't abuse men
• saying it's just "fighting" not abuse

Section 5: Using children

• making you feel guilty about the children
• using children to relay messages
• threatening to take your chilren
• threatening to tell your ex-spouse or authorities that you are lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans so they will take the children

Section 6: Using privilege

• treating you like a servant
• making all the big decisions
• being the one to define each partner's roles or duties in the relationship
• using privilege or ability to "pass" to discredit you, put you in danger, cut off your access to resources, or use the system against you

Section 7: Using economic abuse

• preventing you from getting or keeping a job
• making you ask for money
• interfering with work or education
• using your credit cards without permission
• not working and requiring you to provide support
• keeping your name off joint assets

Section 8: Using coercion and threats

• making and/or carrying out threats to do something to harm you
• threatening to leave or commit suicide
• driving recklessly to frighten you
• threatening to "out" you
• threatening others who are important to you
• stalking