What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.

– Pericles

How do relationships improve my health?

For 75 years, Harvard University has interviewed hundreds of people to help figure out what makes us healthy and happy. The Harvard study shows that being connected to other people matters more than any other life factor (including money and power) to our health and happiness.¹ Many other studies also show that relationships matter to our well-being. In fact, having strong relationships affects our body in the following ways:

• Decreasing blood pressure and cholesterol²
• Keeping the heart rate low³
• Lowering levels of the stress hormone, cortisol⁴
• Increasing immune cells to fight infections⁵
• Lowering inflammation ⁶

Also, relationships lower rates of anxiety and depression while bringing up our self-esteem.⁷ People connected to others are also less likely to get as many colds,⁸ have fewer heart attacks,⁹ and live longer.¹⁰ Research suggests, too, that if you feel closer to your family and friends, you find deeper meaning and purpose in your life.¹¹ These connections also help us trust others more and work better with them.⁷

Functional MRI brain scans show that when we see other people going through good or bad experiences, we also feel their emotions.¹² And when we see another person being touched, the touch center of our brain turns on, almost like we were touched too.¹³ The cells that control this process in our brains are called “mirror neurons,” and more and more studies are showing that they play a big role in how relationships affect us.¹⁴

What types of relationships matter the most to my health?

Scientists have looked at relationships with family, friends, and coworkers, and it turns out that all of these connections affect our health. Warmer relationships with our parents during childhood result in better overall health later in life ¹⁵. Similarly, when we feel supported by our partners, we feel less stressed while dealing with a difficult situation.¹⁶ And the friends we surround ourselves with can improve the health of our body and mind too.¹⁷